How to get the most out of your joint mediation sessions
Joint mediation sessions can be an effective way to resolve disputes amicably and avoid the stress and expense of court proceedings. However, the success of mediation often depends on how well-prepared and engaged both parties are throughout the process. By approaching mediation with the right mindset and practical steps, you can make the most of your sessions and work towards solutions that benefit everyone involved.
1. Come prepared
In advance of your session, have a think about what outcomes are most important to you, and what you can be flexible on. Compromise is a hugely important factor in mediation, and receiving legal advice ahead of your mediation session will help you to determine “best case scenarios” and “worst case scenarios” which will help to give some boundaries to facilitate discussions.
There may be documentation that you can prepare in advance, particularly financial information and valuations, to make your sessions as productive as possible.
2. Focus on future solutions, not past problems
Mediation isn’t a place to determine who was right or wrong—it’s about planning the future. Try to shift your mindset from “What happened?” to “What do we need going forward?”. This makes discussion more focused and reduces emotional escalation.
3. Be honest and open — but calm
In advance of the session, it may be helpful for you to receive support from a counsellor, to enable you to speak confidently and calmly in mediation. Break out rooms will always be available if short breaks are required.
4. Listen actively
Mediation will give you the opportunity to see things from a different perspective. Even if you disagree, try to really hear the other person’s concerns, and see if any reassurances can be given. It is common for mediators to experience two saying the same thing but communicating that in different ways. The mediator can help to highlight where you overlap in your goals.
5. Keep the children at the centre
For family mediations involving children, it is important to focus on their needs, routines, and wellbeing. Mediation provides an opportunity for you to explore arrangements that will enable the children to feel supported, and secure, and to focus on any specific needs they may have. It can be a forum to work creatively to create a routine that works best for your family.
6. Know your boundaries
Mediation is a voluntary process, and you do not have to agree to anything you are uncomfortable with. It may be that you need time to reflect on proposals, take legal advice, or even “trial run” arrangements for the children.
7. Be patient with the process
Mediation can take more than one session – often 2 or 3 sessions are required. Progress may feel slow, but it often leads to more durable, amicable outcomes than court.
